she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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