the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
