Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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