One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
