The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
