Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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