best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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