Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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