I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
