the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this beer tastes like vomit already
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
