He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
