Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
