i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
