he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
