Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
