I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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