We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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