none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You don't make any sense
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