I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
