Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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