what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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