4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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