I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
