Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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