We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
