Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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