imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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