im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
