thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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