I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
