so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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