Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
