Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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