Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
