i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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