You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
