You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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