hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
