you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
