so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
