hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
