Swine flu. Run for my life!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
