The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
