Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
