And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
