So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
