Who wears a wallet chain?!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
