There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
