I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was confusing and full of hummus
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
