I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
