Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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