drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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